How Storytelling Creates Attraction

Dating and Makeover expert, Kimberly Seltzer

As seen in COSMO Magazine, FOX News, and The Huffington Post

After countless IMs and text messages, you finally meet for your first date.  You shake hands, sit down across the table from one another and start firing questions,  “So what do you do for a living?”  “Where are you from?”  You rapidly check off your list of things to say, trying to determine whether they meet the requirements for your next partner.  By the end of the date, you feel bored and a lack of chemistry.  The date sadly turned into an interview.  But what if the first encounter was about telling stories and having fun?  After coaching both men and women in the field and seeing the magic atmosphere a story can create, I’ve determined that storytelling is one of the best ways for producing connection and attraction.  Here are 4 reasons why storytelling is crucial in dating.

Stories Keeps It Light and Fun—First dates should be playful, fun and interesting where you leave your date wanting more.  Avoid heavy conversations, talks about politics or religion or bland Q&A sessions that don’t create connection.  The key is to be in the moment, authentic and come from a place of curiosity.  Avoid prefabricated “lines” which come across as stiff and insincere. Banter should be light, fun and personalized.  The easiest way to circumvent ho-hum interview dates is to break it up with stories and sharing interesting things about yourself like a trip you recently took.  I highly recommend an app to get you started.  This interactive dating app forces each person to tell stories about themselves with their truths.  It sparks creativity, laughter, curiosity and conversation.

Stories keep conversation going—When a story is told, it provokes thoughts and memories of similar stories and experiences from the receiver.  Consequently, the receiver shares something that was inspired by the teller’s story.  As a result the conversation tends to flow without awkward silence and avoids the need to fill the space with boring or unrelated questions and statements.

Stories create connectivity through self-expression– Avoid asking a million questions on a date and share personal stories instead.  This allows the person to really “see” you and creates connection to elicit more exciting conversation between the two of you.  Letting someone know who you are and showing emotions and vulnerabilities will help you connect with them faster. The more you connect on an emotional level, the more someone will want to know you more and will stimulate attraction.

Stories are memorable and inspire action– When facts and information are framed by a compelling emotive story, you’ll not only hold the attention of your date, but you’ll also make the information presented more memorable thus increasing your chances for a second date!  No matter how detailed your facts are, if your date isn’t invested in what you’re saying, information will be lost.  That’s why if you tell a story in a way that is expressive, authentic and interesting varying your tonality and body movements, the receiver will find it interesting and want to learn more about you.

Remember a date should be light, fun and compelling.  So if you want your first impression to live happily ever after, make storytelling a tradition on your date and rest assured you will create more chemistry.  And if you need more personalized help to learn the art in a wing gal session, make sure you contact me at


About Kimberly Seltzer

My name is Kimberly Seltzer and I am an image expert, dating coach and matchmaker. I draw upon my experience as a therapist by using a true inside-out approach to my practice.

My journey has taken many turns, but you can be assured that I’m highly qualified and very well trained. I attended Indiana University, majoring in psychology, speech communication and theatre. At the University of Chicago I completed my master’s degree and became a LCSW all while performing improv at Second City.

After practicing as a therapist for over 10 years, I moved to California and trained with one of the top Image Consultants in Los Angeles, Ashley Rothschild at The Rothchild Image. I obtained a certification in Style Coaching through the Style Coaching Institute in the UK which teaches the unique combined use of life coaching, NLP and styling.

I joined David Wygant, the top LA Dating Coach as his only female coach and learned the art of running dating bootcamps for men. My journey continued after getting asked to consult with several matchmaking companies and businesses for their client’s image and presentation. Most recently, I ran the VIP division at one of the largest nationwide matchmaking companies, Elite Matchmaking in Beverly Hills, CA where I infused image consulting and dating coaching as part of this unique matchmaking process.

Throughout the years, I began speaking and giving seminars such as being the keynote speaker for the clothing line KikaPaprika, for National Matchmaking Conferences, Neutrogena, eHarmony, Success Magnet and iDate, an international dating conference. I continue to enjoy opportunities on the radio and media.

Media spots have included an appearance with Andy Richter and Paul Tompkins in eBay’s Winner’s Guide to Winning, a guest on Huffington Post Live with Tim Matheson, a main expert on the new cable reality show The Romance and co-hosting a new radio show with Sideshow Network, Full Disclosure with Art of Charm’s Jordan Harbinger. I am currently appointed as the Co-host & Lead Love Expert of a live traveling dating show, The Great Love Debate. I am a regular contributor to Huffington Post, Your Tango, Lavalife and Dating Advice. You can also find my articles and videos in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Fox News Magazine, Yahoo!Shine and The Examiner.

Today I help clients all over the world to unveil their most beautiful self. Whether it’s updating your image or transforming your dating life, my philosophy is simple… work from the inside-out to achieve your goals and boost your self-confidence. I have developed my own personalized wing gal approach with clients doing in-field work with men and women working on body language, first impressions, image and messaging and how it impacts attraction. My process is light-hearted, fun and empathic aimed at improving dating experiences and relationships. The services I provide include private phone/Skype sessions, email coaching and dating boot camps.

Visit my website for your free e-book on what styles flatter your shape and take a look at my “before and after” work with clients; you’d be amazed what a few smart changes can do to your life!

To contact Kimberly for media events, speaking engagements, personal appointments or other inquiries, please direct all requests to:


Phone: 818-274-9090




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